This post was written by a member of the Texas A&M Parent and Family Advisory Council. All members of the advisory council are parents or family members of current Texas A&M University students.
When your student goes to college, you may find that they explore paths, roads, and avenues you never dreamed for them to pursue. As parents and family members of these students, it can be hard to let go and let them soar to pursue their dreams. This post is written by two parents of Texas A&M students and explores how their student has grown and developed in college and how they approach supporting them.
In what ways has your student grown in college that you may not have expected?
“As my student entered Texas A&M University, I must admit I held a naively narrow focus on her path and an ill-defined definition of success. I envisioned Dean’s Lists and a slew of student organizations, along with a schedule full of intramurals as benchmarks for success. Toward the second semester of my student’s freshman year, it quickly became clear to me that my priorities were not hers. We shared goals of academic achievements, but she saw much more in opportunities the University had to offer---and beyond. I’ve learned to trust my student. She has soared way beyond my own expectations and certainly beyond any advice I would have given her.”
“While I expected him to grow, I was not sure what growth would look like. But even in his first year, I quickly saw the growth when he was navigating a challenging roommate situation. My student is not much of a complainer, so I thought he would just tough it out through the year. However, I realized I was not aware of how much this situation was weighing on him. One day in mid-spring, he announced he was moving into a different room. I was surprised but proud of him for recognizing he needed to make a change and took the steps to do it. In that moment, he learned to advocate for himself, and I realized how much he was growing and maturing.”
How do you support your student in their growth and future career path?
“I learned that she would come to her future career path on her own, in her own way. She grew through ministry groups, and through delving further into exploring alternate professional fields and majors. She expanded her horizon through application and acceptance into the Disney College Program, housed in the Study Abroad department at Texas A&M. She made friends in many unconventional ways, through study groups and not pre-defined organizations. Since that time, she has joined some campus organizations and is loving it, but she’s learned to balance her time, skills, and talents. I’ve learned to be more respectful of her decisions and take on a supportive role, rendering advice when asked or when I absolutely felt was necessary.”
“I’ve learned that when my student shares interests and ideas, I listen. Even if it’s not what I was expecting or wanting to hear. I try to reserve judgment or reaction and comment that I am curious to learn more. Once I know what he’s thinking, I will watch for opportunities for him to learn or grow more in his interest areas. For example, if I see a post for a job opening or volunteer position that relates to his interests, I will share it with him. The more he learns about what he’s interested in, the better equipped he will be to know if that is the right path. I’ve learned that I can learn about a lot of opportunities at Texas A&M and the surrounding area when they are shared on social media.”
What is the one piece of advice you would give a fellow parent about letting their student soar in college?
“I’d tell fellow parents that it is okay for your student to diverge off the beaten path. It’s okay for them to not know exactly what they want to do or to change their major midstream. It’s okay for them to try something new, even if it makes you terribly uncomfortable, because it may just end up in tremendous personal growth for them. I still have to remind myself that this is her time to shine. It is her time to grow. It is her time to navigate the ropes of adulthood. I’m thankful to be there for her, to support her, and to render advice when asked. I’m thankful for a University that offers many options to a diverse student population. The Aggie Family and the Aggie Network are alive and well.”
“I know it’s hard, but I would encourage families to try to take a step back and let your student navigate and solve their own problems. Like the popular term of “quiet quitting”, you are still there to support, listen, and encourage, but they will be able to learn so much more from learning how to identify and solve their own problems, rather than us anticipating and solving the problem before they have the opportunity to. Again, I know it’s hard, but I found having a hobby helps – my husband and I have taken up pickleball and we love it!”
If you have a question for the Aggie Parent and Family Advisory Council or if you have a suggestion for future content that the Advisory Council should cover, please fill out the form at: tx.ag/QuestionsandSuggestions
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